I have been feeling like crap the last few days...maybe it's being back in my awful work/school routine after vacation...or disappointing news about school, (by the way I have 3 A's and 1 B, so that's good - but I probably won't be able to graduate when I want because of day classes I need)...anyway...
Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I had my mini-breakdown....
While I was in the shower last night I was shaving my legs because 1) Natalie and I are getting a pedi today; 2) I see Dr. Chen today.
So first thing I notice is how weird I look naked, but whatever - right? - it's normal. Well, then I tried to shave...I couldn't do it! My body has become so disproportionate that I couldn't even shave like a normal person. I'm mean, yes, my body has changed...but I'm not that big!!
For some reason this upset me so much...I feel like this is one more thing that doesn't allow me to feel like me. I think that pregnant women are delusional if they embrace their new shape 100% of the time. Get real... Yes, I am happy to see my body changing - because that means that the baby is growing, and things are happening as they should. THAT makes me happy.
Not being able to find something to wear; not being able to shave my legs; growing out of my bras (etc, etc) DOES NOT make me happy.
So that's my story. I've recovered from my mini-breakdown. I'll have to explain it to Brad sometime...I feel bad for not explaining things to him...but can he really understand? I've been pretty good emotion-wise so far (IMO of course), so I think it was just due for me to have my crazy/sad moment.
Feeling better already :) Probably better yet, after I get to hear Baby's heartbeat today.
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