Time to get back on track…

Last week we unexpectedly went to visit my grandma because she hasn’t been feel well and we fear that we won’t get a chance to visit before it’s too late. It threw things a little off schedule, but well worth the trip.

Um, let me rephrase. The trip was awful! Me, Elijah, Becky, Emma (who’s 4), Aubrey and my mom rented a van so we could all ride together. GOOD GRIEF! That trip took soooo long. The poor babies were so tired of the drive, it took us nearly 10 hours for a 6 hour trip.

It was great to visit though. I’ll have to post the pics of Eli and grandma. They are really sweet.

Now, I have to get back on my roll at the gym….

…here is Elijah yesterday playing in Evan’s toy….

 

Trapezoidal, lateral….what??

Ha. I didn’t think the gym equipment would be a geometry lesson. :) I never knew what some of our muscles were called…

Anyway, I did it. I finally did more than a treadmill or a bike last night. I suppose I will try to record my progress every weekend. So here’s what my scoop was:

ACTIVITY	POUNDS
Quads	52
Hamstrings	79
leg press	115
press (calves)	115
Chest	75
Shoulders	62
biceps	45
triceps	75
back	85
abs	55
inner thigh	50
outer thigh	65
lateral	72
low back	70
cardio	20 min / 3mph

So while I was researching I learned that week one to only do 1 x 15 reps. So that’s what I did – and I will repeat at least three times a week.

Also I learned that if I end up going to the gym until midnight, Murphy's Law will make Elijah wake up every 2 hours after that. --- so yea, I’m pretty sleepy today.

New blogging purpose

So I have/had been blogging some time now about my pregnancy, family snippets and other miscellaneous things. I’ve decided to also document my results and achievements with my fitness and health goals. --- to help me stay accountable with my efforts.

So before I head to the gym tonight, let me summarize what I need/want to do with myself.

Firstly I need to lose weight. A number on a scale doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s how I feel, and right now I know I have to lose the extra pounds. This is going to be a struggle in more ways than one. I have consulted my primary physician and my OB and they both told me to take things slow. My body doesn’t want to burn any calories because I am still nursing, and any calories I do burn (or any dieting I apply) can make my milk suffer. ---not one of the lucky bf’ers that loses weight easily :( ---  I am prepared to wean Elijah in March for this reason, but until then I’m just going to take things slow. Right when he turned 6 months I was going too much and too hard at the gym and that’s when my milk supply dropped, to the point I was ready for formula (I’m proud to have nursed through that really hard time).

My second challenge is that my leg is still broken from a horrible car accident I suffered more than 5 years ago. --- It sounds silly, but I have an implanted rod that supports the fracture that hasn’t healed together yet (if it ever will). I wasn’t able to walk for nearly a year and the physical and emotional damage is still fresh to me. I can’t do the things I want because of deformation and scarring – but I know these issues can be overcome, healed and repaired. I just need to prep myself emotionally to use my leg in ways that I haven’t been able to for years. Honestly –now thinking about it- that’s what has held me back I think, now that I’m writing this ‘out loud’. I’m scared to injure my leg where I may have to endure part of the awful experience again.

--- wow, I just now realized that this STILL bothers me so much. I’m glad to write this out and share it with you (whoever you may be) to get it off my chest. I want to feel normal. I want to be able to sleep on my right side. I want to run. I want to sit Indian style. I don’t want to feel constant pain. I want to not worry when I get up from sitting with Elijah. I want my strength and confidence back. I just feel so far and so weak from ever becoming what I was 5 years ago.

Whenever I feel like this I remind myself how lucky I am. By God’s grace I am here, and if I don’t ever really run again, I’m thankful to be here and have a family. People have suffered worse. ---- However, I still think I need to give my feelings some thought before I smother them out with thankfulness; I’ve never really allowed myself to feel sorry for me before, but in all honestly I do feel sorry for me and my leg at times.

Now is the time to change that. I can get fit, repair my leg to stronger than it was before. It’s going to suck, and be really hard but I firmly believe the harder the challenge, the greater the reward.

Heck, if I can squeeze a human out of my vag med-free I can do this too.  :)

Hope I haven’t lost you in my ramblings up there, but I feel a load off my shoulders. I will begin my challenge and follow through so I can be proud and reap the amazing reward. Starting tonight. You as my witness and silent supporter. thank you.

The world is not your oyster

Not that Elijah likes oysters or anything, but he sure does like everything else.

Good grief! He is into EVERYTHING. I need to start thinking about baby proofing asap, because when he starts crawling no telling what he’ll find. Baby proofing has me very intimidated for some reason, kind of stupid coming from a former “safety professional”…oh well, he’ll have to sit in the pack in play for a bit until I feel comfortable around here.

At the grocer today he wanted to thoroughly inspect every thing that went into my cart, including a detailed slobber inspection. Gross and frustrating.

It’s still cute at times though. We have a ritual lately when I make dinner. Elijah has to have pots and pans too, when mommy does.

What a stinker!!

On a different note I decided to quit being hypocritical. What I mean is that I probably go to extreme at times to ensure that Elijah is protected from unnecessary environmental chemicals, etc. What about me? What about Brad? We’re probably at greater risk than he is….so I took the plunge this grocer visit and purchased everything organic (as much as they offered). It’s great to see there is a nice selection. We’ve been in the habit of purchasing organic for some of our food (like milk, who wouldn’t want to?? It last so much longer and when left out in a cup ---ahhemm, Brad--- it doesn’t leave that nasty ring). What was surprising is that the grocery bill wasn’t that much more.

I feel pretty good about it. I can sacrifice a few of my indulgences to ensure we get better quality food. Brad is pretty much on board with me. I love him for that. Some of my beliefs and manners may seem neurotical to him, but he still obliges me for the most part. Thanks Goose.

Home made baby food

It is so easy (and kind of fun) to make! --- I sound like a complete, life-less nerd I’m sure. But I feel good knowing that I’m doing this for Elijah.

I do fear that his taste buds are following after his father’s though…. ::du du duuummmm::

I made his usual carrots and sweet potatoes, but then I ventured to make apples, pears, bananas, kiwi, mango and acorn nut squash. I know he LOVES the apples. I’m sure he will love the pears equally. However he still hates bananas, even with the little kiwi I mixed in there. Oh well….Aubrey will appreciate that effort. But what breaks my heart is that he didn’t like the squash. I nearly decapitated myself trying to cut the thing, and it turned out SO yummy in my opinion, but he gags when he eats it. :(

Anyway I’m glad to have made his food. It makes me feel good knowing that I saved $$ too.

Look at my little cheezer  :D

I just read my own blog…

and I’m kind of emotional about it! I knew to cherish every pregnant moment (I think I did a pretty good job of it), but reading some of my entries brought back some fun emotions.

What an exciting time it was! While we were waiting for Elijah to come during the final weeks and having a wonderful birth experience has got me thinking about :::dares to say it::: baby number 2!!!

I know he just turned 6 months and the romantic reality of having a family of 4 would only occur in between times of chaos….but it is still lovely to think about. –plus, I kind of liked being pregnant.

Regardless, I am going to attempt to track my fertility on fertilityfriend.com. Thebump.com users recommended this so I know when I’m able to conceive. I figure it is a good tool to have since I will not be taking any contraceptives any time soon. I’ve tried them all it seems and they make me like an emotional walking time bomb. Besides, it goes against my will if I were to take synthetic, pharmaceutical-money-grubbing drugs unnecessarily.

-------------Anyway, the reality is, is that I need to go hold Evan and get my fill of a tiny baby for a while, and wait to have another baby when the time is right – hopefully this charting thing will work out.

I couldn’t resist posting a pic of my cuddly doody bop; who is sleeping so soundly right now---thank you!!!!

Happy 6 months Elijah!

It’s hard to believe that just 6 months ago Elijah was born! – and on a hot summer day. Quite the contrast to today’s foggy cold.

Ironically, we both had doctor appointments today. My appt with Dr. Chen went perfect. He also confirmed my worrying suspicion to hold weight loss plans until Elijah has been weaned. --- that sucks.

Elijah is still <5% for weight! He is 13 pounds 10 oz. Of course he had a major butt explosion earlier this morning which probably lost those 6 oz to push him to 14 pounds. Oh well. His doc more or less told me to stop obsessing. He is skinny, and that isn’t so bad in a fat world. He is 26.5 inches long which puts him at the 60th %.

I’m sure the next 6 months will fly by.

Yesterday all of the little cousins got together! I have to post those pictures of course. We’re hoping to get all together again next Thursday. Hopefully we’ll get some better ones then. It’s so hard to make kids do what you want them to do  :)